Another year, another attempt at a holiday blockbuster.
Red One depicts Callum Drift’s final Christmas before his retirement as the commander of E.L.F. (that’s the Extremely Large and Formidable, not the traditional holiday workers). As these stories often go, his final job doesn’t exactly go off without a hitch. Santa (played by J.K. Simmons) is kidnapped by an unknown enemy, and the only lead the North Pole has is Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans), a professional tracker and a level-four Naughty Lister. Despite his obvious disregard for others, Jack and Cal are forced to work together and hopefully get Santa back in time for his annual gift delivery.
Just that description alone may have most potential viewers put off, or at the very least, questioning how this idea was not only green-lit but approved for a full theatrical release. However, in the spirit of the holidays, I will do my best to give this film a fair and even review.
The Nice
Even though the premise is silly on its face, I was surprised how much world-building the movie took its time to flesh out. Some of the design choices in certain set pieces and the North Pole were genuinely fun, and I realized watching it that this concept wasn’t as dead on arrival as I had anticipated it would be. J.K. Simmons and Bonnie Hunt are genuinely endearing as Santa and Mrs. Claus, and I really enjoyed their performances. Kristofer Hivju also gave a very fun performance as ripped eight-foot-tall Krampus.
While they are limited and often mixed with CGI, I also enjoyed this movie’s use of practical effects (particularly Krampus and his minion’s prosthetics).
The Naughty
Unfortunately, there is a lot about this movie that just doesn’t work. Primarily, it is unsure who its audience is. This movie is too adult for young children, even though the story is structured largely like an episode of a kid’s show. It leaves the story in an unclear space, where no one can really connect with it on any level. Even as a “turn-your-brain-off” movie, some moments are so disconnected (or the acting is so wooden) that it takes you out of it.
Speaking of acting, we have to talk about the big man himself. Not Santa, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Considering he was paid $50 million for his role in this movie (accounting for one-fifth of the film’s $250 million budget), calling his acting lackluster and stiff feels like a compliment. While Chris Evans isn’t much better, the real killer is that the pair have no comedic chemistry, which a movie like this desperately needs to keep the audience engaged.
This is all to say nothing about how the movie actually looks. The CGI flails between okay and absolutely egregious, with everything having an uncanny PS3 graphics appearance. Some of the characters in particular are laughable and genuinely hard to look at.
TL;DR
This is not a good movie, but it’s far from being “The Room of holiday movies.” It is the kind of corporate by-the-numbers shlock that folks have come to expect from direct-to-streaming original movies. The story is formulaic, the acting is serviceable at best, and it looks terrible. Even still, in the spirit of the holidays, I find myself thinking that with better writing and some chemistry between the leads, this could have been a fun little holiday romp.
Currently, Red One has a 31% on Rotten Tomatoes and has only brought in $182.8 million worldwide, not even recouping its budget. The fact that this movie cost more than Dune: Part Two to make is mind-blowing, and hopefully Amazon has learned a very expensive lesson. It’s doubtful though, as like Santa Claus and his uncanny valley animated reindeer, these movies will inevitably return to our screens year after year.