Sailor Monsoon’s 25 Most Anticipated Films of 2023

­2022 broke me. It’s been a rough couple of years for everyone post Covid but this was the year I stopped watching a movie a day. I don’t know how or why it happened but it broke me. I just couldn’t muster the energy to compile a list, let alone watch a movie. But that’s going to change this year. I’m going to make an effort to watch more movies than I have been. Not a movie a day but I’m going to force myself to get back into a rhythm. I still love movies and there’s a lot I want to see but the desire is gone and I’m going to work on that. I also pledge to finally get back into writing, it’s been too long since I’ve made a top 100, so expect to see more of them in the coming months. 2023 is the year of change (or rabbit or some shit) and it happens to also be one hell of a year for new movies. 

These are My Top 25 Most Anticipated Films of 2023.

25. Rebel Moon

Based on the plot synopsis, it seems like Snyder is just reworking Seven Samurai but since John Sayles already did that, what he’s really doing is remaking Battle Beyond the Stars. Which is hilarious to me. I predict this will be a grim dark retelling of a light sci-fi romp with a gratuitous amount of slow mo, a cast that’s utterly wasted and an unjustifiably long runtime that will set up a sequel. But that’s the cynic in me. Maybe he’ll surprise me with a fun action adventure reminiscent of one of his earlier works but I remain skeptical.

Release date: Dec. 22

24. Napoleon

Ridley Scott might be the most hit or miss director alive. Sometimes he knocks it out of the park delivering a masterpiece and other times he drops an embarrassing goose egg. Time well tell where Napoleon falls on that scale but having Joaquin Phoenix in the lead gives me more faith than this project probably deserves.

Release date: TBD

23. Dune: Part Two

I don’t care about Dune. It’s overlong, over serious and flat out boring. There’s nothing about its story that justifies it’s length. Guy with his magical wife and kid go to a planet to oversee the production of spice. Fat guy attacks said planet to get the spice killing the man and the mom and kid run off to the dessert where they group up with a bunch of sand rebels. That’s it. That’s the entire goddamn story. Why does it take so long to tell that story. Lynch and Jodorowsky knew this boring shit needs weird shit to balance it out. Denis Villeneuve is an immense talent but he might be too serious for the subject matter. If this next one doesn’t do anything for me, I sure as hell ain’t seeing the third.

Release date: Nov. 3

22. Argylle

Henry Cavill headlines a new spy movie for director Matthew Vaughn in 2023’s Argylle. It is based on Elly Conway’s unreleased novel and brings both Cavill and Vaughn back to the spy movie genre. Vaughn left his mark on the genre before with the Kingsman movies, while Cavill previously starred in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The film features an incredible ensemble cast that includes Bryan Cranston, Samuel L. Jackson, Bryce Dallas Howard, John Cena, Sam Rockwell, Dua Lipa, Catherine O’Hara, and Ariana DeBose.

Release date: TBD

21. Untitled Ethan Coen Comedy

When the duo went their separate ways, I assumed that was the end of their careers but the brothers seem to still want to work, so in a way, that means more movies for me. It’s like when you’re parents get a divorce, it’s sad but now you get two Christmases. The film seems plot seems like a wacky farce about I’m here for it. A Russ Meyer-inspired action sex comedy centered on a party girl who takes a trip from Philadelphia to Tallahassee with her buttoned-down friend. As they cruise the bars they find themselves mixed up in a series of misadventures involving a severed head in a hatbox, a bitter ex-girlfriend, a mystery briefcase, and an evil senator.

Release date: TBD

20. Untitled Safdie Brothers / Adam Sandler Project

Good Times and Uncut Gems are flawless masterpieces, so I have the utmost faith in their abilities to deliver another anxiety inducing thriller that will stick with me forever. Very little is known about their next film (rumor is it centers around the world of sports card collecting) but it could be a documentary on lawn care and I’d still watch it. The only reason it’s not higher is that there’s no evidence that it’s even coming out this year but they announced a project, so it’s coming out at some point, so it’s making my list regardless.

Release date: TBD

19. Last Train to New York

The original is among the greatest zombie movies ever made, so remaking it drew the ire of every single person in the horror community and I see why. There’s really no reason to touch a masterpiece, especially since it just came out but what the whiny bitch babies in the internet are overlooking is the fact that Timo Tjahjanto is directing it, and that’s reason alone to get excited. He (along with Gareth Evans) made the single greatest horror anthology segment ever with Safe Haven in the film VHS, and that alone should get anyone pumped but he also made May the Devil Take You and it’s sequel and the action packed The Night Takes You. There’s no doubt in my mind that this won’t be as good as the original but I’ll settle for a new take that’s more visceral instead of emotional.

Release date: TBD

18. Barbie

I’m surprised people were surprised that this looks good. I knew the second Greta Gerwig was attached that this was going to be great. Even though I love Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, it’s Gerwig that has my confidence. Since I am an old ass man, I have zero interest in Barbie in anyway whatsoever but Gerwig delivers quality shit, so I trust her to make another great movie.

Release date: July 21

17. The Killer

Based on the graphic novel of the same name, David Fincher’s follow-up to Mank is a neo-noir thriller that follows the life of an unnamed assassin (played by Michael Fassbender). Since Wikipedia is giving me nothing to work with, I have no idea what it’s about but Fincher’s name alone gets me excited. Plus, I miss Fassbender. I feel I haven’t seen him in forever.

Release date: Nov. 10

16. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

It’s funny but if Spielberg was directing this, I’d have no interest in seeing it. Even though he’s the second greatest director alive today, putting him behind the camera wouldn’t get me excited in the least. And I don’t even hate Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I think it’s bad but it’s not the franchise killer people make it out to be. But it is clear that in order to keep this franchise alive, it needs an injection of new blood and getting James Mangold, a director who’s hardly ever missed is a great sign. He’s the reason I’m excited. I don’t have any nostalgia towards this franchise and I really don’t care how they wrap it all up but I will see anything Mangold makes so I’m definitely seeing this.

Release date: June 30

15. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One

As much as I wish the series moved on from Christopher McQuarrie, I have to admit, he’s made two of the best entries. Along with Alien, one of the things I loved about this franchise was the rotating director’s chair. Since it was a new director each time, each film felt unique and distinct. I miss that but I also love McQuarrie’s last two movies, so I’ve embraced the quality he brings over the excitement a new vision offers. Plus, I want to see how the hell he’s going to top the last one.

Release date: July 14

14. John Wick: Chapter 4

Even though I doubt any of them will hit the same as the first one, as long as they keep upping the action scenes, I’m going to keep buying tickets. This seems to be introducing more unnecessary mythology to justify why everyone still wants to kill Wick but since these things might as well be comic book movies, I truly don’t care what they do with the plots. Just gimme Reeves in a killer suit, give him guns and a high body count and I’m happy.

Release date: Mar. 24

13. Creed III

If you asked one thousand cinefiles or movie lovers what the greatest movie franchise of all time was, I doubt many would pick Rocky but objectively, the numbers don’t lie. There’s only one bad film out of eight. Every other film is either a classic or a crowd pleasing thrill ride. It’s the most consistently entertaining franchise and the latest entry looks like its going to maintain that streak.

Release date: Mar. 3

12. Maestro

His directorial debut impressed everyone so much, that everyone in Hollywood knew his follow up was immediately going to be an Oscar frontrunner. As far as I know, this is the first time or one of the only times that both Scorsese and Spielberg have teamed up to produce a movie. That should tell you everything you need to know about how much people have faith in Cooper’s abilities. And they’re faith in him is justified, A Star is Born was a helluva debut and his sophomore effort Maestro, a biopic about Leonard Bernstein looks incredible. I predict this thing getting nominated for every goddamn Oscar it’s eligible for.

Release date: TBD

11. Borderlands

I do not trust Eli Roth to deliver a good movie and since the studio brought Tim Miller in to take over directing duties for the last two weeks of filming (the reason being that Roth is leaving to shoot Thanksgiving), I suspect the studio doesn’t trust him either. He clearly wanted to make his Guardians of the Galaxy (take a shot every time you hear about that in the next couple of write ups), seeing as how Gunn started off as a horror director turned action guy, so Roth decided to literally do the same thing but since he’s nowhere near as competent a director, I have no faith that this is even going to be half as good but since Borderlands 2 is in my top five favorite games of all time, I’m still holding out hope it’s at least fun.

Release date: TBD

10. Killers of the Flower Moon

Another movie whose plot I know nothing about but whose director and cast get me excited enough to see it regardless. It’s Scorsese. It’s Scorsese working with DiCaprio again. It’s Scorsese working with De Niro again. It’s DiCaprio and De Niro working together again. But more importantly, it’s Brendan Fraser working again.

Release date: TBD

09. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

I love Guardians of the Galaxy so much, that any movie that’s even slightly similar in tone, will get my attention, and since this one has a great cast and is written and directed by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, the duo who did Game Night, I’m expecting a helluva a fun time. I’m a simple man, give me fun Guardians knock offs and I’ll be there every time. 

Release date: Mar. 31

08. Evil Dead Rise

Controversial hot take: there are three masterpieces in the Evil Dead series and one of ’em ain’t Army of Darkness. I’m one of the few staunch supporters of the reboot, so I says bring on more sequels and reboots. Until the milk goes bad, keep milking that cow, baby.

Release date: Apr. 21

07. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

I’m done with the MCU. I know I know, I’m starting to sound like a broken record but it’s true. I truly do not give a fuck about this franchise anymore. I don’t care about whatever they’re doing with Kang and there’s nothing coming down the pike I remotely give a fuck about. The only reason this made my list is the fact that I love Gunn and that the first Guardians is one of my favorite films ever. The Vol. 2 was near perfect but too many jokes kept it from being better than the first, so hopefully this one finds the right balance but the trailer (as well as that forgettable holiday special) have me worried.

Release date: May 5

06. Oppenheimer

Even though his filmography is almost nothing but bangers, I unfortunately have that “what have you done for me lately” feeling when it comes to Oppenheimer. This should be my number 1 without question since he’s proven time and time again to be a master but since Tenet was so disappointingly mediocre, I can’t muster that much excitement for this even though I know he’s going to deliver.

Release date: July 21

05. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Into the Spider-verse ranks very high on multiple “favorite movies” lists of mine: favorite movie I consider the best of their respected decade, best-animated movie, and best superhero movie. I don’t think there’s a single flaw, with the animation being a really strong stand-out. It’s smart, funny, action-packed, and pretty to look at. The first trailer for Across the Spider-verse seems to be just as fun and unique as the last.

Release date: June 2

04. How Do You Live?

Inspired by the 1937 novel of the same name by Yoshino Genzaburo, How Do you Live? is the latest and what seems to be the final work Hayao Miyazaki. Not only do I consider him the greatest animation director of all time, I consider him one of the best storytellers who’s ever lived. He has that same ability to infuse whatever he’s working on with the sense of magic and wonder that Spielberg can. I’m unfamiliar with this novel and while I’m a tad disappointed it’s not a fantasy story, a genre I think he excels at, I’m nevertheless happy he’s making another film.

Release date: TBD

03. Asteroid City/The Wonderful World of Henry Sugar

Wes Anderson releasing two movies in one year is akin to me getting my birthday and Christmas presents on the same day. He’s by far my favorite director, so the only thing that could be more exciting to me is Tarantino revealing what his last movie will be. But since he’s busy writing books and podcasting, I doubt that’s going to happen, so this double release is without a doubt my most anticipated thing this year but I didn’t want to cheat. The first is about a junior stargazing convention that’s interrupted by a world changing event (I’m assuming an asteroid) and the second is a stop motion animated anthology based on the works of Roald Dahl. Both have incredible casts, but Asteroid City has Tom Hanks and I’m really interested to see how he plays in Anderson’s sandbox. The middle of the year can’t get here fast enough.

Release date: June 16/TBD

02. Beau Is Afraid

Ari Aster directed Hereditary and Midsommar. Joaquin Phoenix is the best actor of his generation. Those two things were enough to get my ass into a seat but now that the trailer has dropped, my excitement quadrupled. It looks like a comedic existential fever dream that spans generations that’s also allegedly four hours. Sign me up.

Release date: Apr. 21

01. The Venture Bros. Movie

When The Venture Bros. was officially canceled in 2020, two years after its last season, I was crestfallen. The show had been a part of my life for so long, that I never considered the potentiality of it getting canceled or ending. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a truck. Not just because I just lost my favorite thing but because it was finally answering questions and confirming decade-old theories. The fanbase was so vocal that HBO decided to give it a proper sendoff. One movie to wrap fifteen years and eight seasons’ worth of lore and dangling plot threads, while also telling an emotionally satisfying ending is impossible and I can’t wait to see Jackson and Doc pull it off anyways.

Release date: TBD

What are some of your most anticipated movies?

Author: Sailor Monsoon

I stab.