It’s Bruce Willis‘ birthday! Remember when he used to be a box office draw? It feels it’s been ages since that was the case, right? To mark the occasion, here are five direct to video films he’s shit out over the past few years. Check some of these out … or don’t. I don’t blame you, I didn’t see any of these either to be honest.
Ok so this one actually is part of a trilogy, yes a trilogy. Can you believe that?!?! Apparently the first two were filmed back to back and weren’t even directed by the same guy. Weird, right? Plus, the movie was written by Emile Hirsch whom Willis starred with in Midnight in the Switchgrass which apparently WASN’T a DTV movie. Who knew? Ok, so the plot is basically this: Robert (Willis) and his son Paul (Jesse Metcalfe) live in a top-secret resort for retired U.S. intelligence officers. A group of criminals breaches the compound and the pair has to save the day. Yeahhh ok. Oh, and Shannen Doherty is in it too!
When you see this cast you may think, yeah ok, why not? And he hadn’t done too many DTV movies at this point to really start to worry about him yet. But this one stands at a whopping 21% on Rotten Tomatoes. At first you think this might be a John Wick knockoff about a guy and his dog. But in this action-comedy Willis plays Steve Ford, an L.A. P.I. whom after doing a favor for a friend, he runs into trouble with a local gang. The gang leader Spyder (Jason Momoa) wants revenge so he steals Ford’s dog and forces Ford into a sequence of convoluted and intertwined tasks across the Venice area. Simon Says, anyone?
I’ve actually never even heard of this one, but it sounds like it could be a fairly interesting one. For one, it’s not his typical paint by the numbers action flick. This one is a Chinese production about their resilience against years of barbaric air strikes on Chongqing by the Japanese bombings during World War II. Willis doesn’t even have top billing, that goes to Liu Ye. Could it be a Chinese propaganda film? Sure that’s a possibility, but at least it sounds interesting. Oh and Mel Gibson served as the art director of the film. Crazy.
This crime thriller action film starring two bald guys (Willis and Michael Chiklis) about a bank robbery gone wrong. In all actuality it seems the film revolves more around Chiklis than Willis. Bruce plays Lord Rex, a violent crime lord who wants the stolen money that Chiklis’ Frank Sullivan can’t deliver. Short on time and info, Frank must figure out which crew member betrayed him, avoid Rex’s contract killer out to get him and locate a mysterious briefcase (Marsellus Wallace anyone?) to save his own ass and avenge his brother’s death.
Here’s another one starring Jesse Metcalfe and the birthday boy. In this one, Willis stars as Donovan Chalmers, whose daughter, WWE Ring Girl Eva Marie, is kidnapped by a terrorist known as the Pardoner out to misuse some revolutionary technology. Chalmers then has to hire a team of mercenaries led by Derek Miller (Metcalfe) to rescue Eva and recover the tech.
I can tell you I long for the day we get film this guy like Pulp Fiction, Die Hard, or hell, even Red. Anyway, what are some of your favorite films to feature birthday boy Bruce Willis?