“Over here…”
It’s Action Month at ScreenAge Wasteland, and we’re all getting in on the… uh, action. That includes those of us of a horror bent, so this month I’ll be watching and reviewing horror movies that have a heavy action element, or maybe action films with a frisson of horror to them.
My first film of the month is one that probably sits more on the action movie side of the fence. Sure, there’s a monster, and parts of the film arguably emulate slasher flicks, but for the most part we’re talking about a movie with big men, wielding big guns, shooting a lot of ammo at bad guys while making quips. It’s standard 80s action movie stuff. That all gets turned on its head, though, which is part of the genius of the film.
1987 was a pretty great year for action movies. We had Lethal Weapon, Beverly Hills Cop 2, Robocop, and The Running Man. Much as I enjoyed those films – particularly Robocop – Predator has always been my favorite of the bunch. Not because it’s necessarily better than the others, but because it’s so much fun to watch. I know I’ve seen it many more times than any of those other films.
It also featured a brand-new monster – something I feel like the 80s was great at. We’d never seen anything like the Predator before. Stan Winston’s design and Kevin Peter Hall’s physicality were instantly iconic. The film immediately launched a franchise, and we’ve gotten a regular stream of films, books, comics and games featuring the “one ugly mother…” ever since.
It’s been a while since I last saw Predator, despite my love of the film. In part due to access – I don’t have a physical copy, and I love my physical media – and partly due to familiarity. Quotes from the film make regular appearances in conversation with family and friends. “Get to the choppah!” and “I ain’t got time to bleed” are probably the ones most often used, but “Kill me! I’m here! Come on! Do it now!” is known to show up. (I personally love “I’m gonna have me some fun. I’m gonna have me some fun!” but nobody really knows that one for some reason.)
So gear up, we’re heading into the jungle and ain’t all of us gonna make it back alive. Come on in. Ol’ Painless is waitin’.
The Medium
Somehow I still don’t have a Blu-ray or 4k of Predator. The early high-def releases had major problems (including one with a DNR so heavy that everyone looked like a wax doll), so I avoided them. There’s a 4k release, but at the time it came out I didn’t have a 4k player. I guess that’s the way to go, though, and despite also having the worst of the Blu-rays included, it does have a ton of extras. Maybe I’ll just wait a couple of years until the inevitable 40 year anniversary release.
I watched Predator on Hulu, and that’s pretty much the only place to watch it for subs. There is no free streaming option. It can also be rented or purchased via Amazon, Apple, Fandango and Microsoft.
The Movie
After a quick shot of a spaceship entering Earth’s atmosphere (which always reminds me of the opening of John Carpenter’s The Thing), Predator dives in with a classic 80s action movie setup. Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and his team of ultimate military badasses are ordered to join CIA agent (and old friend) Dillon (Carl Weathers) on a “rescue” mission, deep in an unnamed Central American jungle. You can almost smell the testosterone in the air (I’m guessing it smells like the chewing tobacco Blain (Jesse Ventura) stuffs his mouth with). These are the kind of guys who greet each other with an impromptu arm-wrestling contest, biceps bulging and shining with sweat.
This gung-ho attitude takes us through the first third of the film, which plays – with some darker notes – like a fairly straightforward military action film. Director John McTiernan – a master of action already in this, his first studio film – gives us just enough time with each character that we can at least tell them apart. Like Aliens from the year before, Predator wants you to be invested, at least a little bit, in this rag-tag group of ultra-macho military types. So that you give a crap when they start dying.
First, though, we’re gonna have ourselves some fun. While we do get some spooky/gory bits, when the team comes across the skinned remains of a previous team, the movie doesn’t slow down enough to let us digest it. Instead, the team comes across the enemy encampment and does what they’re trained to do – blow it up. Blow it up good. This whole sequence is somewhat reminiscent of Schwarzenegger’s Commando, with our heroes being so good at their job that they can take on a larger military force with ease – and have time for some fairly tired quips (even for the time), like “stick around” when a guy gets a knife through the chest. Only one of ‘em even gets nicked and he, as he so eloquently states, “ain’t got time to bleed.”
But they should have forgotten about all that macho shit, and learned how to play guitar, because McTiernan is about to completely shift the tone of the movie on us. From this point on through the next third of the film we shift from “action” to “thriller,” or maybe even “slasher.” The team is not alone in the jungle. Something is stalking them. Learning to imitate them. And, when the time comes, killing them.
This is a fantastic reversal of the initial parts of the film. The hunters become the hunted, and all their impressive muscles and even more impressive firepower can’t help them. I’m sure there’s discussion of the film that focuses on how it’s a reflection of America’s experience in Vietnam, where all our vaunted technology and war experience wasn’t enough to win. I think it’s more basic than that, though. It’s a reminder that we’ve only recently arrived at the top of the food chain. That we’re still bags of meat and blood, when it comes right down to it, and all it takes to put us back down amongst the cattle is something with a greater advantage – either physical or technological. McTiernan has spent the movie so far showing us what badasses these guys are. Then he shows us how much more of a badass this alien hunter is, when it starts taking them apart.
Not everybody gets a great death scene (poor Hawkins (Shane Black – who would go on to pen and direct his own Predator film in 2018)), but there are enough of them to keep you on the edge of your seat. I still love Mac (Bill Duke) and his slightly unhinged reaction to the death of his friend, Blain. The team, in fairly short order, is whittled down to two. Dutch and a captive, Anna (Elpidia Carrillo). Dutch has realized that the creature, whatever it is – glimpsed only as a blurry, transparent outline – targets just those with weapons, and so he sends Anna off to the “choppa” while he tries to lead it away.
And here the movie shifts gears once again. As the ultimate “final girl” (final dude?), Dutch has to find the Predator’s weakness and use it, somehow, to win against the ultimate hunter. Now it’s about survival. We’ve already seen it take out the hardest and the craziest and the ones with the biggest guns. How the hell is one man supposed to stand up to this killing machine?
McTiernan has us fearing for the life of Dutch. For Arnold freakin’ Schwarzenegger!
This final third of the film has some of the greatest action sequences and most tense moments in the film, as Dutch finds a weakness – the creature’s dependence on detecting body heat – and uses that and his bushcraft skills (this “boy scout shit” as Dillon puts it earlier) to try and level the playing field.
McTiernan, who has held off showing us much of the Predator for the majority of the film, finally lets us see it in all its glory – and damn if it wasn’t worth the wait. Stan Winston’s design and effects are amazing, and make you believe this “ugly mother” could legit waste a team of military specialists. Those mandibles were shocking as hell in 1987, but almost as shocking is the way Kevin Peter Hall imbues the monster with a personality, one that comes through distinctly despite the cumbersome makeup and effects. He’s aided by McTiernan’s choice to give the Predator a “voice” made up from recordings of the other men. That laugh – stolen from Billy (Sonny Landham) – as it enables the self-destruct is chilling as hell.
The film is just incredibly well put together, and full of little touches that increase my enjoyment. The moment when the Predator picks up the scorpion, crushed earlier by Mac, and watches it go completely black (dead) in the palm of its hand. Dutch’s eyes, the only thing visible when he’s covered in mud. The playing of “Long Tall Sally” during the helicopter flight in and the way it gets sung, haltingly and with mania, by Mac later in the film. The odd and incomprehensible “med kit” the Predator uses.
This is usually the place where I put the drawbacks of a film, but I honestly can’t think of any for Predator. It may not be high art, but it’s an amazing piece of action/sci-fi/horror cinema.
The Bottom Line
Perfectly constructed, cast, shot and paced, Predator works great as an action film and as a horror film. Yeah, there are more shootouts than jump scares, but once the Predator starts picking our heroes off, one by one, you know you’re watching a horror movie. McTiernan would go on to direct Die Hard, the greatest action movie of all time (at least according to our 100 Greatest Action Movies of All Time list), but I think I’ve still watched Predator more often. (Too bad we’ll probably never see another movie out of him.)
