“Baby’s fat. You fat… fat and juicy.”
Do you ever revisit things you didn’t like, hoping for a different experience? I’ve taken to doing that on a regular basis. Food, books and films that didn’t hit me right the first time (or several times). Sometimes revisiting things pays off – I used to hate avocado, for instance, but now I love it – and sometimes it doesn’t. Those rare instances where my opinion or interpretation has changed are always worth the effort. Film, in particular, is a subjective thing, and as we move through life our accumulated knowledge and experience means we’re not quite the same person we were when we first saw something. I think rewatching the original Halloween was the first time I can remember that happening to me, and I think I keep trying things multiple times, hoping to experience that kind of epiphany.
I didn’t enjoy The Hills Have Eyes when I first saw it. I’m fairly sure it was one of the earliest videotape rentals I made. Seeing the torn poster in the basement of the cabin in Evil Dead certainly piqued my interest. I’ve got no clear memory of that viewing, however, just the vague sense that I didn’t like it very much and that Michael Berryman was one creepy looking mofo.
If I watched it soon after renting Evil Dead for the first time, I can see why I was disappointed – the gore in Hills is minimal, the production quality uniformly low, the acting generally amateurish, and the story as bare-bones as it gets. I’m not saying Evil Dead is a paragon of cinema, but in all those areas it beats Hills handily (and that’s saying something with the acting).
The Hills Have Eyes is, perhaps, more fairly compared with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – they’re both independent films that feature a traveling group who run afoul of cannibalistic outsiders – but Hills also fails in this comparison, coming close only in the character of the villains. Papa Jupiter and his clan are no real match for Leatherface and his, however. (Gunner Hansen was offered a role in the production but declined in order to pursue his writing career up here in Maine.)
Whatever the reason, The Hills Have Eyes ranks fairly low on my mental list of horror movies that I’ve seen, so it was fair to say I had low expectations going into this viewing. I just thought it was time to give it another go.
The Medium
I watched this on a beat-up Lionsgate DVD from 2003. I should probably seek out a higher definition version next time, as I think the poor quality impacted my experience. There are a couple of Blu-ray releases, including a 2018 release from Arrow. For streaming options, you can watch it for free on Kanopy or Hoopla (if your local library uses those) and it’s available for subs on Fandor and Screambox. It can also be purchased or rented via Amazon.
The Movie
After a nicely creepy intro – titles over silhouetted desert hilltops – I ran into my first disconnect with memory. In my head the movie started with the Carter family just showing up at the desert gas station. I’d forgotten the whole bit with Ruby (Janus Blythe) and the old man (John Steadman, in one of his innumerable ‘old coot’ roles), both of them contemplating fleeing the area. I also don’t remember her wearing normal clothes. Later events suddenly make a lot more sense to me.
So, basic premise: the Carter family – ex-cop Bob (Russ Grieve), matriarch Ethel (Virginia Vincent), married couple Lynne (Dee Wallace, in one of her first film appearances) and Doug (Martin Speer) with their baby Katie, and younger siblings Bobby (Robert Huston) and Brenda (Susan Lanier) – are on a cross-country trip to California, the kind of all-American road trip that 70s families dreamed of. They also have two German shepherds, Beauty and Beast.
I’m just going to put this out there – Beast is the real hero of this movie. I’m still unhappy about the poodle in Florida, but that’s probably on his owners (they certainly seem to think their dog killing another pet is hilarious). Other than that, you’re a good boy, Beast! Given enough time I think you’d have taken all of the bad guys out.
Bob, unfortunately, has gotten it into his head to find an abandoned silver mine on the way and – ignoring warnings from family and strangers alike – drives the family and their camper/trailer out into the middle of nowhere, where he promptly wrecks the car. And then blames it on his wife.
Bob and Doug decide to go and find help. Bob heads back to the gas station and Doug to a military base indicated on their maps. The rest of the family squabbles and annoys each other (and me) for a while, before Beauty escapes from the trailer and runs off into the desert, with Bobby close behind. Eventually he finds her, but someone or something has disemboweled the dog. Spooked by movement in the rocks, Bobby flees, eventually falling and knocking himself out.
Night falls. The family seems strangely sanguine about Bobby being missing in the dark in the desert.
I’m not too impressed by the Carters at this point, if I’m honest.
Bob finally reaches the gas station, where he finds the owner (the old man from earlier) busily hanging himself. Bob seems less than sympathetic, but I’m sure that’s just his gruff exterior. Eventually he gets the story about the man’s son, Jupiter, a malignant horror that he eventually ran off (by hitting him in the face with a tire iron). Now Jupiter lives in the desert with his own family, a group of degenerate cannibals that feed on the unwary or unlucky travelers that wander into their patch of the desert.
I think Craven is trying to say something about the breakdown of the nuclear family, and how the older generation rejects the ideals of those that come after them (and vice versa). All I could think, though, was that those were going to be some awkward Thanksgiving meals.
Then Jupiter (James Whitworth) – in the first truly cool, scary moment of the film – pulls his father out through a window and beats the old man to death. With a tire iron. Bob flees but is eventually captured by Jupiter (after having what appears to be a heart attack).
Meanwhile, the rest of Jupiter’s clan – particularly the monstrous Mars (Lance Gordon) and Pluto (Michael Berryman) – are busily stalking the rest of the Carters. Bobby finally shows up but doesn’t mention anything about hearing noises or something killing Beauty. Because, you know, reasons.
Things get spectacularly bad for the Carters pretty damn quickly after that. Bob is crucified on a cactus and set on fire within sight of the trailer. Lynne is killed, Ethel gut-shot, Barbara raped, and the baby stolen – all within roughly five minutes. Mars even takes the time to kill the pet parakeet.
I was finally hooked at this point. Usually, a siege film like this spends a good chunk of time picking off people one by one – not here. The family is suddenly halved, with a baby missing. It was brutal and unexpected, even though I’d seen it before.
Things are a bit more typical Craven from this point on, with the survivors forced to become just as vicious and violent as their opponents in order to survive and protect their own. There are some excellent set pieces involving a corpse used as bait and a bald guy being stalked by a dog. (Good boy, Beast!) Some dark humor as well, as when Pluto tricks Bobby into disclosing information about their defenses.
The film sometimes feels threadbare and slapped together. The pacing is either so slow as to make you yawn or so frenetic you find yourself wondering what the hell just happened. What little gore there is ranges from believable to almost laughably bad. And the acting is – well, it’s not the worst I’ve seen, but it made me want to slap a lot of people.
After all the buildup, the ending feels a bit abrupt, but the good guys seem to win. How far did they have to go to do it, and what kind of people are they now?
Bottom Line
You know, I’m still not sure I like The Hills Have Eyes. It’s… it’s okay. It has moments. That first attack. Jupiter’s assault and Bobby and Barbara’s defense. There’s some nice framing of the vast, uncaring desert and the tiny Carter encampment. Beast is a good boy. Michael Berryman is still one creepy looking dude.
Just thinking about it in this moment, I think I actually enjoyed it more while I was watching it than I do looking back on it, if that makes sense. It was a decent enough ride, but all the things that bothered me look even worse in the light of the next day. I guess I’ll put it away until the next time, and hope I like it more then.
What about you? Are there films that you didn’t like, but keep trying, hoping you’ll change your opinion. Let me know in the comments!
