Who Would You FanCast in a Borderlands Movie?

Nothing gets a conversation and/or debate going faster than an alternate casting. Everyone has their own opinion about what actor should play which role and more importantly, nobody can ever agree with anyone else’s picks. If it’s even slightly different than what you pictured in your head, you will immediately disregard it and ridicule the person who suggested it. The aim of the FanCast is to inspire conversation, create debate and provide ammo for the bloodthirsty nerds who can’t ever be wrong.

Now that casting is under way for Eli Roth’s Borderlands movie (an adaptation of a popular post apocalyptic video game series), we here at SAW thought that it would be fun to pick the rest of his cast.

Justin Timberlake | Axton

What you might have seen him in: Alpha Dog, The Social Network, Inside Llewyn Davis

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Since Borderlands is basically a more violent Guardians of the Galaxy (I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Roth, a horror comedy director, is making a sci-fi action comedy that’s reminiscent of a sci-fi action comedy made by a director known for horror comedies), it makes sense to cast it like a Guardians of a Galaxy clone. Which means, comedy over action. Timberlake has proven himself a competent actor and he’s more than proven he’s adept at comedy. You need a new Star Lord, he’s your guy.

Jay Hernandez | Mordecai

What you might have seen him in: Hostel, Crazy/Beautiful, Suicide Squad

Why he’d be perfect for the role: The first person Roth cast was Cate Blanchett and for many, that seemed like an odd choice (because seriously, why would she sign up for an Eli Roth movie??) until you remember that she had already worked with him before. Everyone has collectively forgotten that The House With a Clock in its Walls even exists, so you’d be forgiven for judging her taste in projects. Since he’s already casting actors he’s worked with before, It stands to reason he probably won’t stop with her. Hernandez seems like the obvious choice and since he just did an ensemble action movie, he’d be a perfect fit for this.

Amanda Seyfried | Maya

What you might have seen her in: Mank, Mean Girls, Loveless, In Time

Why she’d be perfect for the role: Seyfried famously turned down the role of Gamora in Guardians of the Galaxy and while this won’t be as big of a hit, it is her chance to hitch her wagon to a potential franchise. With her Oscar buzz coming off of Mank and her regret over turning that movie down, Roth would be a fool to not hire her immediately.

Bray Wyatt | Brick

What you might have seen him in: Wrestling in the WWE

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Brick is built like a, well, brick shit house. He’s a tank on two legs. He pummels and destroys everything in his way. As a wrestler, Wyatt is the exact same way. Primarily known for his creepy or weird gimmicks, he’s also a beast in the ring and he also cuts some of the best promos in wrestling today. His mic skills are head and shoulders above the majority of everyone else in the game today and again, his skills as a wrestler are undeniable. He’s a super star in the making, he just needs his moment to shine.

Doug Jones | Zer0

What you might have seen him in: Pan’s Labyrinth, The Shape of Water, Hellboy

Why he’d be perfect for the role: When it comes to characters in suits who act through physicality and not emoting, the gold standard is Doug Jones. Every time Guillermo Del Toro needs a new monster or creature, the first person he calls is Jones and it’s easy to see why. He can bring any prosthetic alive, so playing a silent ninja would be a walk in the park for him.

Victor Rasuk | Salvador

What you might have seen him in: Lords of Dogtown, Godzilla, Fifty Shades of Grey

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Since Disney has poached pretty much every actor under fifty, you really have to think outside of the box if you want to use a cast that isn’t already tied to one of the major franchises. For the last twenty years, Rasuk has been building a solid filmography of supporting performances and I think he’s about due for a movie star making role. Salvador is still a side character but if Roth bulks up the role and keeps a lot of the one liners, it could be a scene stealing part.

Christina Hendricks | Mad Moxxi

What you might have seen her in: Mad Men, Drive, Toy Story 4, Bad Santa 2

Why she’d be perfect for the role: Besides her um, obvious assets, Hendricks has shown on Mad Men that she has a razor sharp wit, takes no shit and can be funny as hell. Moxxi is the woman everyone on Pandora (including other women) wants to be with and everyone knows not to cross and I think Hendricks is the perfect combination of sexy and dangerous.

Julia Butters | Tiny Tina

What you might have seen her in: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Why she’d be perfect for the role: The first instinct when casting someone as crazy as Tiny Tina is to go with an actress who’s already done something similar but that’s boring and predictable. Butters doesn’t need a explosive obsessed tyke in her resume, she just needs to show that she can act and since she held her own against DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I think she already has.

Aziz Ansari | Claptrap

What you might have seen him in: Parks and Recreations, Master of None, Funny People

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Getting the original voice actor would be ideal but since this is a Hollywood movie and you need celebrities in every role, there’s no actor alive that is both irritating and likable in equal measure than Ansari. Every role he plays is basically Claptrap in human form. He’s always whining, always getting shit on but somehow, you still love him in spite of himself. That’s Claptrap.

Note: Yes, we are aware Roth just cast Jack Black. Ansari would be better.

Jim Carrey | Handsome Jack

What you might have seen him in: The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Why he’d be perfect for the role: As good as Guardians of the Galaxy was, it’s major deficiency was a memorable villain. Ronan the Accuser yells a lot about some injustice we never saw nor care about and smashes a guys head with a hammer. That’s about all he does. If this movie wants to take on the king, the easiest way to do it is to nail the villain. Although Handsome Jack is the baddie of the second game, there’s no way he’s not going to be in this film. He’s arguably the greatest bad guy in all of gaming. He’s as sarcastic as Deadpool but with Tony Stark’s resources. He’s smart, ruthless and funny as hell. He’s basically Dr. Robotic from Sonic the Hedgehog but cranked up to 11. Nathan Fillion is the fan favorite to play this character and while I do love him, you need a movie star to make Handsome Jack as iconic as he needs to be and Carrey just showed that he’s still got it.

These are the actors I would cast if I was adapting Borderlands into a film. Who would you FanCast?

Author: Sailor Monsoon

I stab.