From the cinephiliac minds of Sailor Monsoon and Vincent Kane comes a new collaborative review series called Double Impact! For these opinion pieces, we watch a film, break it down and analyze it, and then for the hell of it, we like to pick a new cast if we were going to remake the film today. Through our convoluted thought process, neither one of us truly understands, we will definitively determine whether or not certain sacred cows are worthy of praise and alternatively if childhood favorites hold up or are better left in the past. The goal is to get you to rewatch old films you love, check out great stuff you haven’t and skip the overrated classics you’ve heard about but never got around to. This is a celebration of the stuff we love and a takedown of the shit we don’t. This is Double Impact!
KANE’S PICK
The Plot
Point Break is a 1991 American action-crime film directed by Kathryn Bigelow. It stars Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, Lori Petty, and Gary Busey, and the film’s title refers to the surfing term “point break”, where a wave breaks as it hits a point of land jutting out from the coastline. The film features Reeves as an undercover FBI agent tasked with investigating the identities of a group of bank robbers, who then develops a complex relationship with the group’s leader.
The Discussion
Kane: How about a Keanu movie for his birthday?
Sailor: The Lake House?
Kane: Get outta here! I was thinking Point Break.
Sailor: That works.
Kane: This is a movie I will never get tired of watching.
Sailor: I’ve only seen it like 3 times? Maybe 4
Kane: In movies, they always train with shotguns in the academy but never use shotguns.
Sailor: Never not once.
Kane: And shotguns are so cool.
Sailor: Is the remake the most forgotten about movie in existence?
Kane: There was a remake?!
Sailor: Sarcasm?
Kane: …
Sailor: I honestly forget about it all the time. It’s not even bad, it’s just whatever.
Kane: Which is a death knell for a movie.
Sailor: Mcginley is great in this.
Kane: “Young, dumb, and full of cum.” Movies can’t have lines like that anymore.
Sailor: Gary fucking Busey!
Kane: He’s a classic.
Sailor: He’s the hardest to recast.
Kane: Not many bring that kind of energy today.
Sailor: I’m shocked the makers of Fast and the Furious didn’t get sued.
Kane: Changed it up just enough.
Sailor: Fucking barely.
Kane: They are even drinking corona.
Sailor: It’s the same damn movie.
Kane: But fast cars and family!
Sailor: Reeves is horrible in this.
Kane: Come on, not on his birthday.
Sailor: I hate surfers.
Kane: So much. They are basically a combo of skateboard punks and hippies. Awful.
Sailor: The worst.
Kane: James Le Gros is one of the most annoying actors from this time. Even his face is annoying.
Sailor: The Man! Patrick fucking Swayze!
Kane: I hate watching non-athletes play sports in movies and act like they are good.
Sailor: Swayze died too soon.
Kane: Way too soon.
Sailor: He would have killed it in the MCU.
Kane: Hey it’s the bad guy from Cyborg.
Sailor: How was Busey never in an Expendables movie?
Kane: Too crazy?
Sailor: Probably.
Kane: Flea is the better actor.
Sailor: Kiedas is fun in The Chase.
Kane: That’s the one with Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson?
Sailor: Yes. He drove a monster truck.
Kane: Ah, I remember. I also remember Swanson being the hot “it” girl for like a minute back then.
Sailor: Seriously, Swayze would’ve killed as Captain America or Thor.
Kane: Oh, Mr. Sizemore.
Sailor: I miss Sizemore so much.
Kane: I want a meatball sub so bad now.
Sailor: Kane! Get me two!
Sailor: Being the hero ain’t never worth it.
Kane: Cop movies just aren’t the same anymore.
Sailor: The 80s and 90s are dead. I don’t remember Busey dying in this?!
Kane: Just in time to not get fired for punching his boss in the face.
Sailor: Cops don’t get arrested or fired silly.
Kane: That jumping out the plane with no parachute is a sphincter clincher.
Sailor: There was a time when this was the coolest thing in any movie ever.
Kane: And it was glorious.
Sailor: Bodie is an ultimate badass.
Kane: Honestly, how is he still with the FBI after all that?
Sailor: He should be in prison. It would be impossible for him to prove he wasn’t helping them.
Kane: Yup.
Sailor: He even lets the bad guy go. He has no job after this.
Kane: Just walks away free.
Sailor: He quits! How could they possibly fire him?!
Kane: Dats the rules. “You can’t arrest me because I quit!”
Sailor: Goddamn it! He found the only loophole of being a cop.
Final Thoughts
Kane: The thing I love about Point Break is that it did a great job of combining 80s cop movies with the new type of action we were going to see throughout the 90s. Director Katheryn Bigelow provided an iconic action film with one of the best characters on film in Patrick Swayze’s Bodie. This movie would be continually ripped off for decades to come with none being able to come close to it’s oozing charisma. For its time, it delivered some of the best and most thrilling action sequences with the final stunt being an all-time great action scene. There was a new macho on the horizon within the genre. Big muscles and big guns were fading away while actors like Keanu would take over. Point Break is the definition of a rewatchable movie and one you would stop channel surfing to finish watching if it was on. They don’t make movies like this anymore.
Sailor: Before he connected to the matrix and killed everyone over a dog, Keanu Reeves threw his hat into the action ring with two back to back classics, which cemented him as the new king of action. Schwarzenegger and Stallone owned the 80s but they weren’t as hot in the decade to come. Movies needed a new badass and Reeves, an unlikely candidate, was more than willing to step up. His first step towards box office domination was the action thrill ride Point Break, a cops and robbers flick with a twist. Because these ain’t your run of the mill thieves, they’re adrenaline junkies who jump out of planes, surf, and live their life on the edge to feel that rush. If this sounds similar to The Fast and the Furious, it is. That movie is a damn near a shot for shot remake but with cars instead of boards. What it also lacks is the smoldering good looks of a Swayze (who’s amazing in this) and the unchecked insanity of a Busey (who’s never not been great.) It also doesn’t have, nor does any film in the series has, a scene as good as the foot chase, the skydive without a parachute, or any of the actual heists. This film spawned an entire universe that’s awesome but still nowhere near as good as this. Keanu is the action king of 90s cinema and this is the film that helped him get that throne.
Impact Rating
Sailor: B+
Kane: B+
After Impact
Have you ever been surfing?
Hell no.
Me either. That’s just not my bag.
I’d go skydiving if I wasn’t afraid of dying.
I’ve never had the desire to do it. I love cliff diving, that’s about as extreme as I get.
And bungee jumping just looks stupid.
Ok here go…
Please don’t.
You are on an airplane without a parachute like Keanu.
I don’t want to play.
You only have two choices: stay on the plane or jump to your death.
I feel like I’m choosing death.
If you stay on the plane, you have to have sex with…
You sumbitch.
Lena Dunham.
I’m doing cartwheels out the plane.
You’d rather die than have sex with Dunham?
Smiling the whole way till impact.
