Sailor Monsoon’s 25 Most Anticipated Films of 2022

­Just like like 2020, this is going to be one weird as hell year for movies. Covid pretty much killed the theater business for what seemed like most of last year but there were still huge money makers. Vin Diesel and his family of car enthusiasts made a good amount of coin, James Bond did very well overseas and Spider-Man: No Way Home made all the money but it still feels like this will be the year that determines whether or not theaters continue to exist. Warner Brothers has already ditched them in favor of streaming and if enough studios follows suit, the entire industry will change. Or perhaps the huge influx of superhero and big blockbuster movies might be enough to turn it around. Time will tell but either way, we’re about to get flooded with a metric shit ton of movies. This list easily could been twice as long and I still would’ve had to have cut a bunch of shit. 

These are My Top 25 Most Anticipated Films of 2022.

25. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

As a huge fan of Nic Cage, a film where he plays an exaggerated version of himself in a meta Charlie Kaufman-esque dramedy might as well be catnip. I’m assuming it’s going to play up the fact that he’s crazy and can’t stop spending money on stupid shit but a meme version of his life could still work if it’s funny and/or crazy enough and that’s all I’m hoping for.

Release date: April 22

24. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Since it’s the last film in Marvel’s release slate, almost nothing has been revealed about the film outside of it’s subtitle. There’s no poster, no trailer, no official logline. The only thing we know for sure is that Chadwick Boseman won’t be in it. His death hangs over the film like a black cloud, so the only way the film could work, is that it addresses it, pays its respects and tells story that both honors his legacy and moves it forward. Here’s hoping Coogler does just that.

Release date: November 11

23. Hellraiser

As much as I like his segments in The Signal, V/H/S and Southbound, if David Bruckner was attached to this five years ago, there’s no way it would’ve made a list of my most anticipated movies but in the wake of The Ritual and Night House, I’m positively pumped. Just one of those movies puts him above every other director who’s tackled Pinhead, both prove he’s far better than that series deserves. I’m intrigued to see what a great director does with a story that hasn’t had a good entry for 30 years.

Release Date: TBA

22. Bullet Train

After the directing duo of John Wick went their separate ways, one stayed with the franchise, while the other etched out a similarly successful career path by directing films like Deadpool 2, Atomic Blonde and Hobbs and Shaw. His latest is an action comedy about five assassins on a Japanese bullet train that all realize that their individual assignments are all interconnected. It sounds like Smokin’ Aces but on a train. Sign me up.

Release date: July 15

21. Scream

Scream is the latest in a long line of legacy sequels who’s stole function is to bring back beloved old characters to milk the viewer out of some easy nostalgia money. That’s the cynic in me talking. The horror fan in me desperately wants this to succeed so that the slasher renaissance can begin. The horror fan far outweighs the cynic.

Release date: January 14

20. Jackass Forever

For the past twenty years, I’ve been an unashamed, unabashed card carrying member of the Jackass fandom. I fully admit the show was puerile and dangerously stupid at the beginning, but the longer it went on, the closer it got to genuine slapstick. The gags became more elaborate, the stunts became more dynamic and some of the performers were legitimately becoming amazing on screen clowns. Since it was the same crew from movie to movie, and since they all got successful TV and movie deals afterward, it feels like I’ve known them forever. I can’t wait to see what they come up with for their grand finale but more than that, I just want to see my old cinema friends again.

Release date: February 4

19. Don’t Worry Darling

Directed by Olivia Wilde, Don’t Worry Darling is a psychological thriller about an unhappy housewife (Florence Pugh) in the 1950s who discovers a disturbing truth, while her loving husband (Harry Styles) hides a dark secret. Every part of that triumvirate has me intrigued. Wilde following up Booksmart with a thriller is interesting, that cast sounds dynamite and the premise promises a story filled with twists and turns and drama. I can’t wait.

Release date: September 23

18. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I’m (slightly) excited for this for two reasons and they’re both Sam Raimi. I lost my faith in the Marvel machine years ago and I simply find the character to be dull, so there’s really nothing for me to latch onto outside of my trust in the man who made Evil Dead and Spider-Man 2.

Release date: May 6

17. The Gray Man

The Russos have made some of my favorite MCU films. Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans are two of my favorite actors. The “two spies trying to sus out the other” is one of my favorite subgenres. This is very much in my wheelhouse.

Release date: TBA 

16. Avatar 2

I don’t love Avatar. I don’t hate Avatar. I don’t think it’s the worst, nor do I think it should’ve been nominated for best picture. I’m glad James Cameron has his little sandbox he created for himself and I respect the fact that it’s consumed him to the point of madness. He loves this shit so much, he wants to spend the rest of his life making movies about it. I don’t care about this world at all but goddamn do I want to see what Cameron is so fucking obsessed with.

Release date: December 16

15. Pinocchio

The umpteenth retelling of The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi, Pinocchio sets itself apart from the various other adaptations by having Guillermo del Toro as a director. His name alone is enough to get me excited about anything. Save for Trollhunters.

Release date: TBA

14. Evil Dead Rise

Controversial hot take: there are three masterpieces in the Evil Dead series and one of ’em ain’t Army of Darkness. I’m one of the few staunch supporters of the reboot, so I says bring on more sequels and reboots. Until the milk goes bad, keep milking that cow, baby.

Release date: TBA

13. Untitled Knives Out Sequel

I loved Rian Johnson’s updated take on the Agatha Christie murder mystery, that I fell down a rabbit hole of similar movies. I watched all the Hercule Poirot movies. The Charlie Chan movies. A handful of Sherlock Holmes movies and rewatched a couple series of Monk. I fell head first and deep and I can’t wait to do it again after watching the sequel.

Release date: TBA

12. Untitled Mission Impossible 7 Sequel

As much as I wish the series moved on from Christopher McQuarrie, I have to admit, he’s made two of the best entries. Along with Alien, one of the things I loved about this franchise was the rotating director’s chair. Since it was a new director each time, each film felt unique and distinct. I miss that but I also love McQuarrie’s last two movies, so I’ve embraced the quality he brings over the excitement a new vision offers. Plus, I want to see how the hell he’s going to top the last one.

Release date: September 30

11. Everything Everywhere All At Once

The visionaries behind the odd but unique as hell movie Swiss Army Man, The Daniels are back with what looks to be a much bigger and even more insane follow-up. Michelle Yeoh seems to be using abilities she’s imitating from other alternate versions of herself to fight time traveling bad guys lead by an evil Jamie Lee Curtis. I think. I have no idea what I saw in the trailer but I do know one thing is for certain — there will be googly eyes.

Release date: March 25

10. Babylon

Much like his Oscar-winning La La Land, writer-director Damien Chazelle’s fifth film is  another tribute to old Hollywood, this time literally. The story centers on the period of transition when the silent film era began to give way to the “talkies”. Movies like Singin in the Rain and The Artist have covered this subject extensively but this film has something neither of them did: Emma Stone and Brad Pitt. Judging from its extremely late release date, this already feels like it’s being set up to be an awards contender.

Release date: December 25

09. Disappointment Blvd.

Ari Aster directed Hereditary and Midsommar. Joaquin Phoenix is the best actor of his generation. I have no idea what this is about but I heard rumors that it’s a four hour comedy. Obviously that isn’t true, but if it was, I’d still be dying to see it.

Release date: TBA 

08. Killers of the Flower Moon

Another movie who’s plot I know nothing about but who’s director and cast get me excited enough to see it regardless. It’s Scorsese. It’s Scorsese working with DiCaprio again. It’s Scorsese working with De Niro again. It’s DiCaprio and De Niro working together again. But more importantly, it’s Brendan Fraser working again.

Release date: November 5

07. Crimes of the Future

David Cronenberg is back! One of the all time greats is making a new movie and it’s got a great cast (Viggo Mortensen, Kristen Stewart, Léa Seydoux), a great premise and it’s his return to body horror. I couldn’t be more hyped. Check out this logline:

“The film takes a deep dive into the not-so-distant future where humankind is learning to adapt to its synthetic surroundings. This evolution moves humans beyond their natural state and into a metamorphosis, altering their biological makeup. While some embrace the limitless potential of transhumanism, others attempt to police it. Either way, in this perfectly crafted Cronenberg world, which marks the iconic filmmaker’s return to sci-fi, ‘Accelerated Evolution Syndrome’, is spreading fast.

“Saul Tenser is a beloved performance artist who has embraced Accelerated Evolution Syndrome, sprouting new and unexpected organs in his body. Along with his partner Caprice, Tenser has turned the removal of these organs into a spectacle for his loyal followers to marvel at in real-time theatre. But with both the government and a strange subculture taking note, Tenser is forced to consider what would be his most shocking performance of all.”

Release Date: TBA

06. Thor: Love and Thunder

Thank God for Taika Waititi. I don’t know how every other director missed it but Waititi seemed to be the first to realize Hemsworth is funny. Like genuinely hilarious. It’s a fact I wish every director figured out from the beginning. Imagine how much better those first two Thor movies would be if he was this incarnation of Thor. Waititi singlehandedly turned him into the closest equivalent to Jack Burton. And that’s not just me making that comparison. The director himself said that’s the direction he’s taking the character and the series. Big Trouble in Little China in space? Yes fucking please.

Release date: July 8

05. Nope

Outside of the poster, nothing plot related has been revealed. Since it’s from Jordan Peele, I suspect it’ll be a horror comedy that’s thick with social commentary. It’ll definitely be funny and occasionally scary, with the scares being traded for tension and unease. I suspect racial themes will be present and obvious but never preachy or annoying. Some of that, most of that or none of that can be true. The only thing that’s a certainty, is that with Peele behind the camera, it’s guaranteed to be great.

Release date: July 22

04. The Northman

Following The Witch and The Lighthouse, Robert Eggers’ third film is a Viking revenge saga set in Iceland at the turn of the 10th century. Starring Alexander Skarsgård, Willem Dafoe, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke, Claes Bang, and Björk as a witch. If those all those things don’t get you super excited, then we obviously like different things.

Release date: April 8

03. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Part One)

Into the Spider-verse ranks very high on my list of favorite movies, movie I consider the best of their respected decade, best animated movie and best superhero movies. I don’t think there’s a single flaw, with the animation being a real strong stand out. It’s smart, funny, action packed and pretty to look at. The first trailer for Across the Spider-verse seems to be just as fun and unique as the last.

Release date: October 7

02. The Batman

I love the Batman. He’s always been my favorite superhero. I think he has the best written stories, the best rogue’s gallery and can work as either campy and silly or gloomy and serious. There’s many different ways to interpret the bat and Matt Reeves seems to be going the David Fincher route. Sign me up.

Release date: March 4

01. The Venture Bros. Movie

When The Venture Bros was officially cancelled in 2020, two years after its last season, I was crestfallen. The show had been a part of my life for so long, that I never considered the potentiality of it getting cancelled or ending. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a truck. Not just because I just lost my favorite thing but because it was finally answering questions and confirming decade old theories. The fanbase was so vocal that HBO decided to give it a proper sendoff. One movie to wrap fifteen years and eight seasons worth of lore and dangling plot threads, while also telling an emotionally satisfying ending is impossible and I can’t wait to see Jackson and Doc pull it off anyways.

Release date: TBD

What are some of your most anticipated movies?

Author: Sailor Monsoon

I stab.