When a magical sorceress transports Sir Cole (Josh Whitehouse) 600 years into the future to complete a quest, the knight finds himself in Ohio, where he meets Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens), a science teacher who has recently had her heart broken. After Brooke accidentally hits Sir Cole with her car, she decides to bring him home until his “memory” comes back.
Suspension of disbelief is generally needed in most movies, and I am someone who is capable of ignoring reality if the movie is entertaining enough and there is some rational thinking provided. But I cannot say that The Knight Before Christmas offered me anything but illogical and unfactual plot points. Sir Cole – who they all call Sir Cole, rather than just Cole, which then sounds like “Circle”, and also enables his belief that he’s really a knight (he is, but they don’t know that!) – does not seem too distressed that he’s no longer in the 14th century and Brooke seems a bit too eager to take in a total stranger who believes he’s a knight. Worse than that, she actually starts to believe him without any hardcore proof beyond his accent and his uncertainty as to how Alexa works. Brooke even hands him her car keys for him to drive into town on his own, and sure, he has issues, but there is no way he’s driving a car in the snow after having been in 2019 for only two or three days.
He also loves hot chocolate, which he continually calls “mead”, and given mead is a fermented honey-flavored beverage, I have no clue how Sir Cole could keep confusing it with a chocolate flavored, hot drink. Brooke conveniently has what is essentially a stylish male wardrobe for Sir Cole, all remnants of clothes supposedly left behind by her boyfriend who was apparently the same height and build as her new knight, and I won’t even touch on the fact that Sir Cole carries his sword around everywhere and no one seems to have an issue with it. As for his “quest”, well, I guess it was to fall in love with a 21st-century science teacher. Why? We never really get to find out. Does it matter?
I could probably write an entire review of the ridiculousness of this movie, but I fear it will just irritate me all over again. I suppose if I needed to find something nice to say about the movie, it is pretty to look at, although with how much snow is on the ground, I wish I could bundle up the characters a bit more because I can’t imagine their flashy peacoats and jaunty hats are keeping them very warm.
Hudgens is talented enough and seems to be right in her element despite the horrible script. Given last year’s popular The Princess Switch, and this movie, I would not be surprised if she appears in another Netflix Christmas original next season as well. Whitehouse is good looking, sure, but still suffers from the insipid and boring syndrome that afflicts so many leading men in romantic comedies. He and Hudgens have okay chemistry, but it’s simply not strong enough to overcome all of the movie’s flaws. The Knight Before Christmas is Christmas humbug and one to absolutely skip this year.
