The forgotten. The underrated. The obscure. The underappreciated. The cult. There are a million reasons why some films get consigned to cinematic oblivion and there are a million films that deserve it. These don’t. Grab your shovels and your pick axes, it’s time to unearth the gems of cinema’s past.
Welcome to Monsoon’s Buried Treasures – Volume Four.
A Breed Apart (1984)
Directed by: Philippe Mora
Plot: A conservationist and a widow meet a mountain climber hired to steal bald eagle eggs.
Rutger Hauer has a pet bear that swipes his picnic basket. There’s also a scene where he pontificates about the passage of time and the inevitability of change while getting slowly choked to death by a huge ass boa constrictor. Which is also a pet. As well as featuring Hauer, the cast also includes Kathleen Turner, Powers Boothe, Donald Pleasence, and Brion James. The film is one lawsuit away from being considered a remake of Clint Eastwood’s The Eiger Sanction but instead of killing a man for a painting, the hero needs to climb a mountain to steal an eagle egg.
These are all facts. Everything I just listed is in this movie but you now need to throw whatever action-packed testosterone fest you’re picturing into the trash because 80% of this film is a love triangle set in the jungle. Imagine if Canon decided to rip off Romancing the Stone but failed spectacularly and you have a pretty good idea of what this film is all about. I have no idea whether this film is trying to be funny or if the humor is unintentional but A Breed Apart is the type of glorious mess only the ’80s could produce. It’s a big ol’ hunk of delicious Velveeta.
Come for Hauer, stay for Hauer’s menagerie of exotic pets.
Bunraku (2010)
Directed by: Guy Moshe
Plot: A drifter with a mysterious past (Hartnett) and a Japanese warrior (Japanese superstar Gackt) team up to take down and end the reign of the evil woodcutter (Ron Perlman).
Because critics like to regurgitate the same stock criticisms when dealing with something that’s unique but not entirely successful; a common complaint leveled against films with a strong emphasis on visuals is usually “it’s nothing but style over substance” but why can’t style be the substance? Would Sin City or 300 be as good or even memorable if their directors didn’t have a slavish attention to the style of their source material? Snyder and Rodriguez spent hours upon hours painfully recreating the pages of the comics they were adapting and the results are among the best of their careers. The only difference between the other two and Bunraku is the fact that there is no comic it’s pulling from. All the crazy images and insane action are exclusive to the film.
Bunraku delivers exactly what it sets to do. To create a unique new world with its own mythology and rules and populate it with a huge cast of colorful characters. And then they all fight to the death. What more do you want?
Plus, the narration is done by Mike Patton, which is about the coolest thing in any film. Ever.
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
Directed by: Andrew Dominik
Plot: Robert Ford, who’s idolized Jesse James since childhood, tries hard to join the reforming gang of the Missouri outlaw but gradually becomes resentful of the bandit leader.
Every year, there’s at least one film that, immediately after watching, everyone collectively agrees belongs among the pantheon of the all-time greats. Some films are so undeniably great that their legacies are instantly secured. 2007 had a lot of instant all-time greats: There Will Be Blood, Zodiac, Hot Fuzz, Ratatouille, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and No Country For Old Men have all left their mark upon cinema. They came out, planted their flag, and declared “I’m the best” and they were all right. Critics and audiences both agreed those films were not only among the best of the year but of all time but when it was Andrew Dominik‘s turn to climb that same mountain and to plant his own flag, nobody listened.
Maybe the mountain was too crowded with all the other flags. Maybe audiences were put off by his films behind the scenes troubles. Or maybe they bought into the belief that Westerns are dead. Whatever the reason, audiences stayed away from TAOJJBTCRF (Jesus Christ) like the plague. So much so, that they never came back. There has yet to be a reappraisal or reevaluation of its worth, which is a goddamn shame considering it’s a fucking masterpiece on the same level as Lawrence of Arabia or McCabe and Mrs. Miller.
Every aspect of this film is masterful. The cinematography is second to none, the score is transcendent, the narration is wonderful and the performances from the two leads are among the best in the history of film. Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck give two completely different performances but both are utterly fascinating. It’s impossible to take your eyes off of Pitt, while Affleck’s Robert Ford is so uncomfortably weasel-like that you want to do anything but look at him. It’s an epic tale about hero worship and the death of the American folk hero and it deserves its rightful place atop Celluloid Mountain.
Celluloid Mountain sounds like a ride you’d find at Cronenberg-Land. The greatest theme park to never exist.
Stranger than Fiction (2006)
Directed by: Marc Forster
Plot: An I.R.S. auditor suddenly finds himself the subject of narration only he can hear: narration that begins to affect his entire life, from his work to his love interest to his death.
Poor Zach Helm. After this film came out, every critic hailed him as the heir apparent to Charlie Kaufman and some even went so far as to declare him “the savior of film.” But much like the Arctic Monkeys (remember them?), any talk of their brilliance ended immediately after their follow-ups.
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium isn’t a great film but it’s not bad enough to ruin a career. Even if it lost every penny it cost to produce it, Stranger than Fiction should’ve bought him at least one more chance at bat. The critics might have blown his talents out of proportion but the fact remains, Stranger than Fiction is a damn fine film and the lion’s share of that credit goes to the script.
The film does interesting things with its premise but more importantly, it has characters you care about. Will Ferrell is fantastic in the lead and he’s surrounded by a great cast of characters. It’s one of the few high-concept films that leans more on the characters than its clever premise and that’s why all the critics lost their goddamn minds. They were and still are crazy but after watching this film, you understand the passion. It’s damn good.
Self Defense (1983)
Directed by: Paul Donovan and Maura O’Connell
Plot: During a police strike in Nova Scotia’s capital city, a gang of hoodlums end up unintentionally causing the owner of a gay bar to be killed. This escalates into a string of murders with a lone survivor trying to not be next.
I have a strong affinity for the “base under siege” type films. Whether they’re action, comedy, or horror, setting all the action in one location offers immediate tension and stakes. How are the characters going to make it out of this situation alive? When it comes to Self Defense, the answer is: through a shit ton of violence and murder.
Self Defense is a lean, mean canuxploitation riff on Assault on Precinct 13 that occasionally dips into the preposterous (the last third turns into an extreme version of Home Alone) but never enough to take you out of the film. If you’re looking for a hyper-violent potboiler, Self Defense will satiate your blood lust.
Goodbye, Dragon Inn (2003)
Directed by: Tsai Ming-liang
Plot: A small handful of souls bid goodbye to their local Chinese theater, the Dragon Inn.
There will be a time when every movie theater will be empty graveyards haunted by films of the past. Drive-ins are damn near obsolete and local mom-and-pop specialty cinemas are in constant fear of closing. Every technological advancement brings with it the corpses of older, inferior products. DVDs killed VHS, television killed the radio, Netflix killed Blockbuster, the internet is killing print media, and eventually, streaming or illegally downloading films will kill the movie theater.
It’s a heartbreaking thought because film is one of the last communal art experiences. Music will never go away but going to the theater, sitting next to other patrons, and watching a film together won’t exist soon. Goodbye, Dragon Inn is a haunting elegy for a way of life that survives only in the minds of ghosts and old film critics but more importantly, it’s a beautiful reminder that film is art and art is the most important thing in the world.
Fun trivia: The movie’s own director voted for it as one of the 10 Greatest Films of All Time in the 2012 Sight & Sound Directors’ Poll, which is adorable.
A Breed Apart. Bunraku. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Stranger than Fiction. Self Defense. Goodbye, Dragon Inn. These films have been unearthed. Now go watch them.
