Who Would You FanCast For A ‘Police Academy’ Remake?

Nothing gets a conversation and/or debate going faster than an alternate casting. Everyone has their own opinion about what actor should play which role and more importantly, nobody can ever agree with anyone else’s picks. If it’s even slightly different than what you pictured in your head, you will immediately disregard it and ridicule the person who suggested it. The aim of the FanCast is to inspire conversation, create debate and provide ammo for the bloodthirsty nerds who can’t ever be wrong.

I’m not all for remakes but I’m not one of those who hate them either. However, I am surprised this 80s comedy hasn’t been remade in some form or fashion. Police Academy wasn’t well-received critically in 1984 but was a box office success making $82 million off of a $4.5 million budget. It was able to spawn six sequels and two short-lived TV series. A “sequel” has seemingly been in development hell this century, so I thought this was a better time as any to discuss a cast for a remake because why not!


Lucas Hedges | Carey Mahoney

What you might have seen him in: Honey Boy, Manchester by the Sea

Why he’d be perfect for the role: He may be too good for this project but if it took a little bit more of a serious take, he would be a perfect Mahoney. He can play the goofy loser but also turn on the intensity when needed to be the leader of these misfits.


Hailee Steinfeld  | Karen Thompson

What you might have seen him in: True Grit, The Edge of Seventeen, Pitch Perfect 2

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Hailee would be great as the no-nonsense socialite bored of her social circle and wants to experience the real world. Also, I think she and Lucas would make for a fun love interest where Karen isn’t going to put up with Mahoney’s crap.


Shaquille O’Neal | Moses Hightower

What you might have seen him in: Steel, Uncle Drew

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Yes, he may have starred in some truly horrific movies such as Steel and Kazaam, but the NBA legend has the qualities to pull off what I envision for this Hightower. A more lovable teddy bear who can turn on the intensity when it is called for and he actually went through real-life police academy to be a trained officer.


Paul Walter Houser | Leslie Barbara

What you might have seen him in: Richard Jewell, I, Tonya

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Paul can play the chubby soft-spoken guy who can’t stand up for himself like a champ. He also has the perfect look for the role.


Keegan-Michael Key | Larvell Jones

What you might have seen him in: Key and Peele, Keanu

Why he’d be perfect for the role: The original version of Larvell Jones was played by the “man of a 1,000 sound effects” Michael Winslow. I think Key would bring something different but even more hilarious with the different types of characters in his bag to help them out of tricky situations.


Diego Boneta | George Martin

What you might have seen him in: Scream Queens, Terminator: Dark Fate

Why he’d be perfect for the role: This one is simply based on looks. George is a Latin ladies man who sneaks into the female dorm to have the good times, and while he is successful, he is also a fraud who has a plain American accent.


Ben Foster | Eugene Tackleberry

What you might have seen him in: Hell or High Water, Leave No trace

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Another actor who is too good for this movie but I love Foster and think he would make a fantastic Tackleberry. As the hyperviolent and weapon obsessed military veteran, Foster would simply kill it in this role.


Christopher Mintz-Plasse | Douglas Fackler

What you might have seen him in: Superbad, Role Models

Why he’d be perfect for the role: I mean, look at him…


Keke Palmer | Laverne Hooks

What you might have seen him in: Scream Queens, Hustlers

Why he’d be perfect for the role: As the mousy and understated Laverne, Keke would be just right for the role where she breaks out of her shell and for Shaq’s Hightower to take her under his wing like she was his daughter.


Stephen Amell | Kyle Blankes

What you might have seen him in: Arrow

Why he’d be perfect for the role: A perfect role for the good guy TV star to jump into as one of the bully cadets who become Lt. Harris’s goons who oppose Mahoney and the rest of the group of “losers”.


Frankie Muniz | Chad Copeland

What you might have seen him in: Agent Cody Banks

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Maybe a bit of a comeback for Frankie as the smaller goon cadet to play buddy to Amell. Shave that head and let the annoyance begin.


David Schwimmer | Lt. Thaddeus Harris

What you might have seen him in: Friends

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Is there anyone more annoying than Ross from Friends? Schwimmer would make for the perfect foil to Mahoney and the other recruits as the annoyingly loud Lt. Harris while he yells through his tiny megaphone.


John Lithgow | Cmndt. Eric Lassard

What you might have seen him in: 3rd Rock from the Sun, Cliffhanger

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Lassard is on the verge of retirement and losing all his marbles as the Commandant of the Police Academy where these lovable losers chose to train. Lithgow is one of our greatest actors that can play any type of character needed. Lassard is essentially a senile old man who seems like he just wants it to end but also doesn’t appears to not what exactly is going on. I give you Mr. Lithgow. Enjoy him.


Ronda Rousey | Sgt. Debbie Callahan

What you might have seen him in: Furious 7, The Expendables 3

Why he’d be perfect for the role: She is an awful actress but this role doesn’t need anything more than an intimidating instructor who shows the cadets how to protect themselves and can take down any perp at any time.


Bonus: Jack Black | Zed McGlunk 

What you might have seen him in: School of Rock, Nacho Libre

Why he’d be perfect for the role: So Zed didn’t arrive until the sequel and if this was able to get a second movie, then Jack Black would be the best person to replace Bobcat Goldthwaite as the hyperactive oddball gang leader who butts heads with the cadets.


That’s who I would fancast, what about you? Who would you like to see in these roles and what do you think of my picks?

Author: Vincent Kane

I hate things.