Who Would You FanCast as the Guardians of the Galaxy in the 1990s?

Nothing gets a conversation and/or debate going faster than an alternate casting. Everyone has their own opinion about what actor should play which role and more importantly, nobody can ever agree with anyone else’s picks. If it’s even slightly different than what you pictured in your head, you will immediately disregard it and ridicule the person who suggested it. The aim of the FanCast is to inspire conversation, create debate and provide ammo for the bloodthirsty nerds who can’t ever be wrong.

Here are my picks for if Guardians of the Galaxy was released in the 1990s.

Brendan Fraser | Starlord

What you might have seen him in: The Mummy, George of the Jungle, School Ties

Why he’d be perfect for the role: As much as I love Chris Pratt, he will never be more than a poor man’s Brendan Fraser. He’s doing the same shit and taking the same roles Fraser would’ve taken twenty years ago. The only difference being is that Fraser, in my opinion, is far more talented. He can be comedic; he can do action; and, he can be dramatic. He’s a jack(ass) of all trades, which is the perfect recipe for a Peter Quill.

Tia Carrere | Gamora

What you might have seen her in: Wayne’s World, Relic Hunter

Why she’d be perfect for the role: Her performance as Cassandra in Wayne’s World should have made her a star. Outside of the infamous Bohemian Rhapsody scene, she’s the thing you remember the most about it. She’s incredibly sexy and more importantly, she holds her own against Mike Myers. A lesser actress would’ve been buried under his constant barrage of quips but Carrere is a lil firebrand who ain’t taking nobodies shit. You take that sass and add in her Lara Croft inspired role in Relic Hunter and you got yourself a Gamora.

Michael Jai White | Drax

What you might have seen him in: Black Dynamite, Spawn, The Dark Knight

Why he’d be perfect for the role: White didn’t have the biggest career of the 90s. Hell, he doesn’t have the biggest career now, but there was a split second at the end of that decade where it looked like he could have. He had just come off of the critically acclaimed TV movie Tyson and had just released Spawn. Neither set the world on fire but the buzz off of Spawn before it was released was huge. Big enough to get him an audition to Guardians of the Galaxy. And all he would’ve needed was the opportunity because the insane comedic chops he showed in Black Dynamite would’ve easily gotten him the job. If he could’ve booked another comic book movie right afterwards that was actually successful, his career could’ve potentially have been worthy of his talents.

Michael Keaton | Rocket Raccoon

What you might have seen him in: Batman, Beetlejuice, Spotlight

Why he’d be perfect for the role: As great as Bradley Cooper is, I’ve always pictured Rocket Raccoon as a bit more unhinged. He’s a brilliant engineer stuck in the body of a genetically modified raccoon. That would give anyone some serious mental issues. Which, in turn, would create some serious freakouts. You know who does freakouts better than anyone on planet Earth? Michael fucking Keaton. That’s who.

Oh and as for his buddy Groot? I didn’t cast anyone because it’s three words. Who gives a shit.

Sean Bean | Adam Warlock

What you might have seen him in: Game of Thrones, GoldenEye, Lord of the Rings

Why he’d be perfect for the role: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Bean would’ve been a better Bond than Brosnan. He’s more charismatic, more dashing and has bit more of an edge to him. Now, you might be be wondering what that controversial hot take means when it comes to Adam Warlock (considering he’s kind of none of those things). My point is: since he played one of the best Bond villains and since I think he could’ve been Bond, I think he’s the perfect person to play Warlock due to the fact that the character (and the actor himself) typically flip-flops between being a hero and a villain.

Bruce Campbell | Howard the Duck

What you might have seen him in: Evil Dead, Spider-Man, Dark Man

Why he’d be perfect for the role: I kinda feel like Campbell was born to play Howard the Duck. He’s a sardonic wise ass who insults everyone he meets and, through sheer luck and cocksure bravado, manages to somehow save the day. He has no discernable skills or powers and is almost entirely useless and yet he’s beloved by a large group of comic book readers. Although he’s borderline intolerable, there’s something about him that people gravitate to. That sounds like Campbell’s bread and butter to me. He’d mostly likely be in the film as a comedic foil for Rocket Raccoon and just imagine Keaton and Campbell trading insults back and forth. Heaven.

John Travolta | Ronan the Accuser

What you might have seen him in: Pulp Fiction, Face/Off, Blow Out

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Remember when John Travolta was good? More specifically, remember when he was fun? After Pulp Fiction, his career was super hot and while he didn’t always do the best films, they were almost always fun. Face/Off was fun. Broken Arrow was fun. The common denominator between all three of those films? Travolta was the villain. He’s great when he’s the bad guy and he’s even better when he’s an over the top bad guy. Put him in some blue make up and a ridiculous outfit, give him a wacky monologue about space revenge or whatever and let em loose.

Who would you FanCast? Sound off in the comments below!

Author: Sailor Monsoon

I stab.