Who Would You FanCast For a ‘Dick Tracy’ Remake?

Nothing gets a conversation and/or debate going faster than an alternate casting. Everyone has their own opinion about what actor should play which role and more importantly, nobody can ever agree with anyone else’s picks. If it’s even slightly different than what you pictured in your head, you will immediately disregard it and ridicule the person who suggested it. The aim of the FanCast is to inspire conversation, create debate, and provide ammo for the bloodthirsty nerds who can’t ever be wrong.

Recently, Double Impact! watched the 1990’s, Dick Tracy and after sharing our thoughts on the film, we decided to cast our own remake. We went big. Like really BIG. Budget was no issue as we picked who we wanted trying to knock each casting out of the park. We definitely want to keep the comic book feel that made Warren Beatty’s version so lovable but have a bit of a more serious tone to it as well. Think a mix between Sin City and Warren Beatty’s version. You know some blood and death, maybe a little bewbage but a lot of fun. And we want matte painting backgrounds back dammit!

Here are our picks for a Dick Tracy remake!

Josh Brolin | Dick Tracy

What you might have seen him in: No Country For Old Men, Avengers Endgame

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Older but still a convincing hard ass and talented enough to not get dominated by Cruise, Josh Brolin brings the right level of maturity, machismo, and old-timey bravado to make the role work. It takes a certain kind of actor to not look ridiculous wearing a bright yellow trenchcoat and more importantly, a specific actor to not make it a joke. It would be very easy to update this character by making him self-referential; a character that’s in on the absurdity of the world he inhabits, but that’s not the comic and that’s certainly not the character. Dick Tracy is a no-nonsense cop that beats the shit out of criminals and does it without making any quips. Brolin can do that.

Tom Cruise | Big Boy Caprice

What you might have seen him in: Mission Impossible Franchise, Top Gun

Why he’d be perfect for the role: We said we were going big and we felt there was no star bigger and more perfect to play over the top, misquoting, walnut eating crime boss other than Tom Cruise. If you have seen Tropic Thunder, then you know exactly what we are looking for. Les Grossman was essentially Pacino’s Big Boy but as a Hollywood crime boss…I mean, studio exec. Cruise can go from goofy to maniacal in a heartbeat while not caring about looking unpleasant and seeing him interact with these other stars around him would be entertaining as hell.

Margot Robbie | Breathless Mahoney

What you might have seen her in: The Wolf of Wall Street, Suicide Squad, I, Tonya

Why she’d be perfect for the role: Recasting a role originally inhabited by Madonna is no small feat. Not because she’s necessarily a good actress but because few imbue their characters with as much sexuality as she does. The woman exudes sex out of every pore, so in order to recast her, you have to find someone with that same level of sex appeal. And it’s more than just looks, it’s an energy. An energy I believe Margot Robbie possesses. With one look, she can make you fall in love. With a second, she can ruin your life by making you obsessed. Depending on whatever look she’s giving you, she can become a sex pot, a femme fatale, or girl madly in love. And since all three are almost interchangeable, you never know which one you’re getting until it’s too late. Which is just like Breathless Mahoney.

Amy Adams | Tess Trueheart

What you might have seen her in: Arrival, Man of Steel, American Hustle

Why she’d be perfect for the role: We wanted someone who was beautiful and kind with a motherly feel but who could also stand up for herself. Enter the lovely Amy Adams. Tess is Dick Tracy’s love interest who struggles with being the dutiful girlfriend and waiting for Tracy to start a life with her instead of only worry about taking down crime. Adams should be a perfect fit for Brolin’s Tracy.

Keanu Reeves | Flattop Jones

What you might have seen him in: John Wick Series, Speed, The Matrix Series

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Reeves is at his best when he’s playing stoic badasses who don’t do a lot of talking. Say what you will about him as an actor but his ability to kill huge waves of people without showing even the teensiest bit of emotion is second to none. Although he primarily plays heroes, the cold-blooded and dispassionate way in which he eliminates foes, makes him one of the best cinematic psychopaths working today. Replace the guns he uses in his movies with a knife and there’s no way he’s not immediately one of the great on-screen slashers. All of his characters are five steps away from being horrible serial killers anyway, so why not finally give him a role that lets him be the bad guy he was always supposed to be, or at least, the bad guy he’s played a million times already without realizing it.

Mike Myers | Mumbles

What you might have seen him in: Austin Powers Series, Wayne’s World

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Oh how we have missed Mike Myers. We want and need more of him on screen before it’s too late and we think he would be perfect for the Mumbles part. Mumbles, well, mumbles everything so it is difficult to understand what he is saying but is also extremely greedy and treacherous. Myers would bring both a lovable and devious nature to the character that would make it interesting to see him interact with the different characters of the film. Most notably at least one scene that we would love to see with the character right below this entry.

Jim Carrey | Pruneface

What you might have seen him in: The Truman Show, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Beatty must’ve called in every favor he could to make Dick Tracy the most star-studded vehicles of the 90s. It’s filled with nothing but A list icons and recognizable character actors of the time. Which is why it makes perfect sense to slot Carrey into an admittedly small role. Pruneface probably only has a handful of lines and scenes in the movie but he definitely leaves an impression. In order to recast Pruneface, you’d have to find an actor who could work with Cruise without getting steamrolled, could make the most out of his limited screen time, and could properly emote through tons of makeup.  Carrey can do all three.

Jack Black | 88 Keys

What you might have seen him in: School of Rock, Nacho Libre, High Fidelity

Why he’d be perfect for the role: 88 Keys is a talented piano player who happens to be a ruthless murderer and head over heels with Breathless but he can’t really see she isn’t interested in him. Jack Black will bring all of those things to this character. We know he is a talented musician already and will be able to play the lovesick puppy better than anyone else. We also love it when Jack gets a bit more serious and that is what we want here with this character.

Rami Malek | Itchy

What you might have seen him in: Bohemian Rhapsody, Mr. Robot, Until Dawn

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Itchy is barely a character and is completely uninteresting while standing next to Flattop. There’s no reason to look at an inferior goon when the best and most visually arresting character in the movie is in frame with him. So to give this character a chance to hold the screen with Reeves, we decided to go with the man with the craziest eyes in the biz. Malek has dead shark eyes and the video game Until Dawn proves that behind those eyes hide nothing but insanity. He’s very good at playing unhinged psychos and his work in Bohemian Rhapsody shows that he can pull off any type of prosthetic you throw at him.

Bryan Cranston | Chief Brandon

What you might have seen him in: Breaking Bad, Argo, Malcolm in the Middle

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Chief Brandon is not only Dick Tracy’s boss but also somewhat of a father figure to the detective as well. We feel like old Heisenberg himself brings just what we need to this character. Someone who can be a stern leader but someone Dick Tracy can look to for advice and back up. Cranston can deliver that in spades.

Brad Bird | Director

What you might have seen of his: The Incredibles, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Ratatouille, Incredibles 2

Why he’d be perfect for the role: Depending on the tone you’re looking to go with, Dick Tracy could be any number of films. It could be a Matthew Vaughn type action crime film. It could be a Tim Burton-esque visual extravaganza. It could be a more grounded detective story or it could be a police procedure. It could also be any combination of things. Dick Tracy lends itself to a number of styles and genres and the director we both felt would be the best at picking the correct tone and visual palette would be Brad Bird. He’s proven he can do action, he’s proven he can be stylish (Tomorrowland is a complete failure but it at least tried to be visually unique) and he’s proven he can build unique worlds out of pop culture nostalgia without them feeling beholden to their influences. He doesn’t make films with nonstop references, he takes the shit he loved in his youth and creates something new with it. And that’s precisely what Dick Tracy needs. It needs to have one foot in the past and another in the contemporary but without it feeling like nostalgia porn. Brad Bird could easily update the character whilst also staying true to him at the same time.

Alright, there are Double Impact’s casting choices! Do you agree or want to see other actors in these roles? Let us know in the comments!

Author: Vincent Kane

I hate things.